We're under attack by a legion of goats! This unorthodox invasion force, capable of putting every lawn mowing company in town out of business is heading our way at hoof speed and the economy simply isn't prepared for that kind of a hit.

Experts have analyzed the incoming goats invasion tactics and right now our best chance for survival is to blend in. Amidst your survival kit you'll find a set of fake goat ears to wear on your head, recycled pots and pans to use as goat-like trotting shoes and an old rug to wear as a coat.

Unfortunately goat tails were out of stock at the costume store. You'll be running it straight but the moment your rear end is visible they'll be onto you. I'd advise practicing your goat noises in advance.

If you release at the top of your lungs your best goat impression the very moment you pass each incoming goat phalanx, you just might confuse them enough to overlook the strange tailless goat-like creature they see before them on their treacherous path to domination of the lawn mowing industry, or as they see it... lunch.